Sunday, 21 October 2018

12 bold, crazy, and definitely stupid predictions for Ryder Cup Sunday

12 bold, crazy, and definitely stupid predictions for Ryder Cup Sunday
30 Sep

Europe leads the the Ryder Cup, 10-6, and the USA will need a longshot comeback on Sunday to take it back across the Atlantic. We now have the lineup for the Sunday Singles session. There are 12 points remaining in the 2018 edition and in order to retain the Cup, the USA must win eight of those 12 points. Here are 12 crazy, bold, semi-serious, and definitely stupid predictions for this final day of 12 matches.

1. Europe wins the Ryder Cup, 16.5 to 11.5.

2. Patrick Reed aggressively shushes the crowd after winning his match against Tyrrell Hatton. This comes, however, well after Europe has already clinched the Cup. Reed does not care.

3. The portly, feisty Reed and the diminutive, temperamental Hatton have to be separated by their caddies at some point.

Need Reed-Hatton drama!
Photo by Stuart Franklin/Getty Images and Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

4. Phil Mickelson concedes his match to Francesco Molinari on the 13th tee. He is out of golf balls.

5. Unsolicited, USA assistant captain Zach Johnson opens the remarks in the team press conference after the USA fails to retain the cup. “It’s gone,” he says.

6. Thomas Bjorn ends up in one of the many bodies of water at Le Golf National before the night is over.

Singles Matches - 2014 Ryder Cup
Captain Thomas Bjorn at the end of the Ryder Cup the last time it was in Europe.
Photo by Harry Engels/Getty Images

7. Assistant captain Lee Westwood makes a non-verbal contribution to the European team joint press conference transcript. He’s kind of an expert at this.

From 2012:

LEE WESTWOOD: (Making siren noises.)

And from 2014:

LEE WESTWOOD: (Not-so-discreetly popping bottle of champagne and sending cork flying). Sorry (Laughter).


LEE WESTWOOD: (Popping another bottle of champagne) (laughter).

8. Justin Thomas has a French fan ejected. Thomas and Rory McIlroy are out in the all-important leadoff match, where the pressure will be at its highest to either stop or snuff out a comeback. The French fans, which David Ferherty told me this year, “are f***ing rude, professionally” cross a line and hit a nerve with JT. There’s a confrontation, and JT tells the fan, “Profitez de votre journée, buddy.”

9. Brooks Koepka and Paul Casey get distracted comparing forearms and have to be told the group in front is clear.

10. Tom Watson barges into the Team USA joint press conference like Coach Shooter Flatch, and screams at Phil Mickelson, “Now, I’m not a mathematician, had you given us two points, we would have won The Ryder Cup. But the zero points you did give us were shameful.”

Morning Fourballs - 2014 Ryder Cup
Tom Watson makes his triumphant return to the Ryder Cup press conference scene.
Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images

11. Notah Begay gives Tiger Woods a Teeless Driver to put in the bag for the final round. But Tiger, who looks spent, cannot get his glutes activated and is blown out by Jon Rahm.

12. Rickie Fowler concedes a hole, and therefore his match, to Sergio Garcia so he can run ahead to greet Thorbjorn Olesen in time greenside with a high-five and hug for clinching the entire cup.



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