Sunday, 18 November 2018

Earth’s Clumsiest Bastards Have Recounted Their Most Iconic Injuries

Earth’s Clumsiest Bastards Have Recounted Their Most Iconic Injuries
20 Aug

Ah, humans are such phenomenally clumsy, idiotic creatures. Riddled with injuries. I mean we’re all so fucken moronic that there’s a whole bunch of ~awards~ set up where all the stupidest ways that people have gotten themselves killed are honoured. They’re the Darwin Awards and as much as it’s sad that all the award recipients are extremely not alive to claim their prize, holy shit did they go out in a blaze of doltish glory.

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This story, however, is about people who are alive. People who have hurt themselves in ways that are so profoundly oafish that it’s wild to think that they’re not just wrapped in bubble wrap at all times, but, miraculously, they’re still here to tweet the tale.

Yarns of people falling over and breaking bones, getting caught on shit, and generally just getting hurt in the most inane situations have been chronicled in a glorious Twitter thead this week, sparked by one Eleanor Penny.

Somewhat surprisingly, a bunch of the injuries sustained by the deadset clods have been recurring ones, usually done in the exact same way as the first time. Whether through exaggerated reenactments or just sheer dumb luck, holy shit people are so god damn accident-prone.

Anyway, here are some of my favourites, and also a few choice ones from the PEDESTRIAN.TV team. Enjoy.

Yeah cool trick dude, is it called “absolutely fucking yourself over”?

Oh….Oh my god.

An absolute pearler of an injury there from our Senior Style & Features EditorMelissa.

They say lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same spot but our Tech & Gaming Editor, Matt, will absolutely stack it down the same set of stairs twice.

And just to prove that I am not immune from being a total fucking idiot when it comes to accidents, please enjoy my own memories of mercilessly owning myself physically.

If this isn’t a real big Friday Mood, then I don’t know what is.

20th Century Fox



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