Wednesday, 21 November 2018
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I just don’t get Crazy Rich Asians

I just don’t get Crazy Rich Asians
16 Sep
1:24

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That’s when I noticed other people in the cinema were making “HHHHH HHHH” noises too; all of them laughing or choking on small parts of toys. I squirmed in my seat really loudly, as if to say: “Oh come on, people! I can’t believe you’re all enjoying this! I mean, sure it’s great to have a mainstream studio film with an all-Asian cast, but the acting is clunky, the characters are cliches, the plot is derivative …”

But I never got to finish my ranty seat squirm because I was rudely interrupted by a woman sitting on the other side of me. She slightly readjusted her elbow on the armrest, as if to say: “Keep still, squirmer. We’re all trying to watch this delightfully engaging romp!” And a couple in front twitched their heads, as if to say: “Yeah, the whole world’s gone crazy for Crazy Rich Asians! It’s a box office triumph!” And a guy behind me softly crinkled his chip packet, as if to say: “Sorry to say it buddy, but you’re completely out of touch with popular culture!”

Everyone was ganging up on me. Things got nasty fast.

So I slumped down in my seat, as if to sarcastically mumble: “Sorrr-ryyyyyy.” Then I sat in silence, pondering whether what they said was true. Maybe I am out of touch with popular culture. I don’t seem to get all kinds of things that everyone else seems to get. I don’t get this movie. I don’t get Instagram. I don’t get soccer and tattoos and Miranda Kerr’s head. I don’t