‚Ä¶ one friend said to another. ‚ÄúHe was seeing his doctor for six months because of chest pains and shortness of breath. Last week, he dropped dead from cancer.‚ÄĚ
‚ÄúThat‚Äôs terrible,‚ÄĚ says the other friend. ‚ÄúWell, I told him a hundred times to go see my doctor.‚ÄĚ
‚ÄúIs he any good?‚ÄĚ
‚ÄúGood? He‚Äôs the best! If he treats you for heart problems ‚Ä¶ you‚Äôll die of heart problems.‚ÄĚ
‚ÄĒSubmitted by Steven Lamm, MD, ‚Ä®NYU Langone Medical Center
Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, she lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesperson replied, ‚ÄúMrs. Harper was admitted for ‚Ä®cataract surgery. All we did was ‚Ä®correct her eyesight.‚ÄĚ
‚ÄĒSubmitted by Amar Safdar, MD, ‚Ä®NYU Langone Medical Center
To paraphrase Mark Twain: Be careful of medical transcripts; you may die of a misprint.
Social history reveals this one-year-old patient does ‚Ä®not smoke or drink and is presently unemployed.
On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it disappeared.
Discharge status: alive but without permission.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Occasional, constant ‚Ä®infrequent headaches.
Bleeding started in the ‚Ä®rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
She is numb from her toes down. ‚ÄĒSources: gmrtranscription.com; nursebuff.com
A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk ‚Ä®at length about the procedure.
Patient: I‚Äôm sorry to have so many questions.
Me: Oh, that‚Äôs no problem. You can always call and ask for clarification when you need it.
Patient: Thank you very much, Clara Fication! You‚Äôve been very helpful. ‚ÄĒSource: notalwaysright.com
Don‚Äôt miss these 11 emergency room stories that are almost too crazy to be true.