Tuesday, 13 November 2018

The Diary: The funny side of stormy weather

The Diary: The funny side of stormy weather
22 Sep

IT was a bit rough in Scotland this week with Storm Ali, so we thought we would look at how Diary readers have told us about storms in the past. As a reader once told us: “We should stop giving these storms names. It only encourages them.”

And we commended the quick-thinking chap in Aberdeen who ordered a pint in his local before remarking: “I can’t believe how strong the winds are. The wife sent me out for some milk, and I got blown right in here.”

Hats off

BUT our favourite Diary story about storms goes back to Glasgow‘s great storm of 1968. A west end reader recalled: “At three in the morning, slates were crashing from the roof. A neighbour decided to see if his new car was safe. Due to the wind, his wife persuaded him to dig out his old air raid warden tin hat from the war and wear it for protection.

“The inspection of the car showed it was parked in a sheltered spot, with no damage. Satisfied, he started home when a gust of wind caught the edge of his tin hat, whipped it off, and sent it straight through the windscreen of his car.”

O dear

AFTER we mentioned the family-owned Watt Brothers store in Glasgow celebrating its centenary, a south side reader told us: “One of the Watt Brothers stores, in Clackmannanshire, was known as The Wee County shop. During one stormy weekend the store’s façade took a battering and the letter ‘O’ was blown off, causing consternation among churchgoers passing by. An express repair was ordered and not long after the shop was renamed Watt Brothers in line with its sister outlets.”

Bit flaky

DRINKER in a Glasgow bar said he went to see a fortune teller when he was down at Blackpool on holiday. “She told me that she could see me in the middle of a huge snow storm heading towards a log cabin. I had to interrupt her to tell her she’d picked up her snow globe by mistake.”

Playing a round

AN unexpected side effect of a storm in the south of England was a group of chaps in London who had to cancel their weekly game of golf. When they later talked about what they had done instead, one said he had spent the day chatting to his wife. He added: “She seems like a nice person.”


A POSTSCRIPT to one of Scotland’s bad storms was a reader telling us she texted her husband in Ayrshire to ask him where he was, and what the conditions were like. His return message was: “Ardrossan. Windswept, but still not interesting.”

Vegging out

IN the aftermath of gales, it was natural that some folk would take the mickey. An English chap visiting Scotland once told us: “I think there’s been panic buying in Scotland because of the extreme weather. I was in five supermarkets in Lanarkshire and couldn’t find any fresh fruit or vegetables in any of them.”

Hope fades

AND finally, not technically about a storm, but we like the story and it happened during Desert Storm, so that’s why it gets in. It was Bob Hope, then in his late eighties, being flown out to Kuwait to entertain the American troops during Operation Desert Storm. He told them: “The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.”

Source: https://www.heraldscotland.com/opinion/16894784.the-diary-the-funny-side-of-stormy-weather/


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