Shortly before Monday nightâ€™s Catholic-themed Met Gala, â€śPage Sixâ€ť reported that tech billionaire Elon Musk was dating the musician Grimes. Much like the apostle Thomas, many refused to believe it until they saw proof â€” which arrived when the pair came to the event on a â€śdate nightâ€ť and Musk revealed that he had helped design Grimesâ€™s dress.
And with that, a new unlikely celebrity couple was born into the world.
Please tell me who one or both of these people are.
Considering how many people are searching for â€śElon Muskâ€™s goth girlfriend,â€ť letâ€™s have a little refresh. Musk, 46, is the founder of Tesla and SpaceX and has a net worth of $19.7 billion. You may know him from being Amber Heardâ€™s boyfriend, launching a car into space, not knowing he was at a sex party, or trying to bust Teslaâ€™s union drive by promising workers free frozen yogurt in lieu of collective bargaining. Grimes, nĂ©e Claire Elise Boucher, is a 30-year-old beloved art-pop musician from Canada who is generally considered â€ścool,â€ť an assessment that can only be bolstered by the fact that I â€” a person who usually just replays the same Warren Zevon or Fleetwood Mac records over and over â€” have barely listened to her.
Besides Amber Heard, who else has Musk dated?
Heâ€™s been married three times: once to Justine Musk and twice to Talulah Riley (they divorced for the second time in 2016). In a Marie Claire article from 2010, Justine revealed that he told her â€śI am the alpha in this relationshipâ€ť while they danced at their wedding reception. He also reportedly frequently told her, â€śIf you were my employee, I would fire you.â€ť (Grimes, meanwhile, has previously been vocal about mistreatment by pushy male producers and has said she wonâ€™t work with them.)
Also, in a Rolling Stone profile from last year, he both asked the writer â€śIs there anybody you think I should date?â€ť and confided that â€śIf Iâ€™m not in love, if Iâ€™m not with a long-term companion, I cannot be happy.â€ť These arenâ€™t so much red flags as they are red tarps visible from space.
What is the public saying about this unholy union?
There was a wave of shock that someone widely considered arty and interesting is with societyâ€™s premiere dorky villain, but the news was also met with denialâ€¦
â€śMy initial reaction to Grusk was that if Grimes wants to fuck Elon Musk I still stan,â€ť my friend Marian told me over Gchat. â€śI feel like there are not a lot of men who understand her interests.â€ť My colleague Emily also empathized with Grimes. â€śI did hookup with a Space X employee once and I was smitten for two straight weeks, partially by his potential to explore space,â€ť she explained. â€śSo I get the appeal.â€ť
How did they even meet?
Funny that you should ask, because itâ€™s the backstory that has me firmly believing that the pairing makes perfect sense. (Also, they both give off sex nerd vibes.) Hereâ€™s the â€śPage Sixâ€ť rundown, which gives me agita every time I read it:
Thought experiment Rokoâ€™s Basilisk considers the hypothesis of a future where AI lords over the world and could punish those who did not help it into existence. His joke was to merge this thought experiment with a pun using â€śRococo,â€ť referring to the ornate French 18th century baroque style, perhaps pointing out that both concepts are complex, too extreme and ridiculous.
And while this takes some explaining, arty performer Grimes was already in on the same joke â€” three years ahead of Musk.
My brain is telling me no, but my heart is telling me that, yes, I need to know more about their Met Gala date.
Hereâ€™s a video of them dancing together, which Musk tweeted out on Wednesday, writing â€śNight at the museum. G has mad skillzsz. Me not so much.â€ťÂ But please do not be distracted by the moves or the caption, and focus on the fact that sheâ€™s wearing a FREAKING TESLA COLLAR. (Update: Musk says that the choker â€śis a bunch of spikes, not Tesla anything.â€ť)
There should be a wage ceiling.